


Your Fault, My Fault, Whatever

by whichlights



Category: Lego Ninjago
Genre: Fake/Pretend Relationship, First Kiss, Fluff and Angst, I Will Go Down With This Ship, I'm Bad At Tagging, Love Confessions, M/M, Mutual Pining, News Media, Slow Burn, Weddings, bonus lloyd and kai brotp, i lied the chapters are v short and there are not many, ive watched season 6 and might i say i am Not Impressed were ignoring it, post season 5 because thats as far up as netflix goes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-01
Updated: 2017-06-27
Packaged: 2018-10-05 15:50:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 6,548
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10311725
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whichlights/pseuds/whichlights
Summary: It was all Jay's fault, really. Kai refused to think about his own part in this whole mess, because it was so much easier to pin it all on Jay.-News reporters catch sight of Kai and Jay trying wedding cakes, and get the idea they're engaged, which is funny, hilarious even, except... they're not even dating?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Its the multichapter fake dating au youve always wanted but never dared to hope for

All Kai wanted to do was sleep in on a Saturday. Was that too much to ask?

"Kaaaaai." A voice that sounded annoyingly like Jay's whined as a hand poked his shoulder repeatedly. "Kai, wake uuup."

"What ungodly hour is it?" Kai groaned, rolling over and pulling his pillow over his ears. "Wait, don't tell me."

"Alright, rude, it's nine thirty." Kai's bed squeaked as Jay sat down. "Oh, come on, I need your help."

Kai sighed and begrudgingly opened his eyes. "What do-"

Jay had a pair of rings on a necklace, and was dangling those rings in front of Kai's face. They were wedding rings. Kai forgot whatever else he was going to say, started spluttering, and his face definitely turned bright red.

"Wanna pretend to be engaged to me for a few hours?" Jay asked, smiling and raising the one eyebrow with a gap in it. Scar? Genetics? Engineering accident? Something he did on purpose because he thought it looked cool? Kai had never asked. 

"Why?" Was the only thing Kai could manage to choke out.

"Uh, free wedding cake samples." Jay said like it was obvious. "Zane's a robot so that's awkward, Cole's a ghost so that's awkward, Nya has a girlfriend so that's awkward, and Lloyd is like seventeen that's illegal. You're my only hope, dude."

Kai looked at him blankly before shaking his head, getting hair in his eyes. "You want to pretend to be engaged just so you can get free food?"

"So  _we_ can get free food." Jay corrected. "And not just any free food- cake. Pleeease?"

Kai sighed.  _I'm going to regret this_. "Let me get dressed."

* * *

Some days, Kai was a little amazed they still had the Destiny's Bounty, but it made things easier. Plus, she'd been through a lot. 

Somehow, Jay had bribed Nya to drop them off by Ninjago City, and that left Kai standing on the deck, fiddling with his new ring. It fit surprisingly and almost scarily well. It was a simple gold band with a few diamonds embedded in it- fancy enough to know it must have cost a fortune, and simple enough that Kai didn't feel out of place using it.

Well, anymore out of place than usual, seeing as Jay had given it to him. Speaking of Jay-

"Hey!" Jay came up to stand beside him. "Ready?"

"How'd you get Nya to agree to fly us to Ninjago?"

"She wants to see Skylor, and today is her off day." Jay shrugged.

Kai nodded- that made sense. Ever since a few months ago, when the whole Morro deal was over with and the team went to Chen's Noodles to celebrate. Kai had been sort of hoping to see Skylor again, and rekindle whatever they'd started on Chen's island, but then Nya had walked in and it'd been like love at first sight. 

So Kai had liked Skylor, but she obviously liked Nya, and Jay liked Nya, but she obviously liked Skylor. They got over themselves- it wasn't right to begrudge people they cared about happiness just because it wasn't happiness with them. But Kai was a little upset on one point that had nothing to do with Skylor- or at least, only a little bit.

He'd been distracting himself. Skylor was funny, pretty, smart, and strong. So he'd taken all his feelings, shoved them down, and focused on Skylor. Then she had her relationship with Nya, and Kai let his feelings for her slip away, and then his  _real_ feelings came on rushing back as he tried to ignore them.

He kinda had a crush on Jay. Except, as stated previously, Jay liked  _Nya_ , who was... decidedly not Kai. Kai's crush on Jay wasn't Skylor's fault, it was his, and his inability to control his emotions.

And now here he was, wearing a ring Jay gave him. It was messing with his head.

"How long until we land?" Kai asked, crossing his arms.

"Land?" Jay laughed. "Only weaklings land."

"Jay no."

"Jay yes." Jay jumped. "Cyclon-Do!" He yelled out, doing Airjitzu. Kai sighed and followed him. They landed easily, and Jay grinned at him like  _what did I tell you_? "Come on, the cake place is just a block down."

Kai nodded, and followed him.

They didn't meet much trouble on the way there, just dodged a group of fangirls and were on their way. Kai wasn't  _exactly_ sure what would happen if the media tabloids heard wind two of the ninja were "engaged", but he really didn't want to be the guinea pig and find out. 

Jay held the door open for him as he walked into the cake shop. "After you, babe." He winked, and Kai wrestled with the decision to find it _annoying_ or _cute_. He went with _endearing_ with an eye roll. 

"Who's there?" The old lady at the counter called out, not looking up from where she was icing words on a cake. 

"I'm Jay, this is Kai. We're looking for a wedding cake?" Jay held up his hand with the ring. The old lady looked up. "You look familiar. Have I seen you before?"

Kai had never been so grateful their demographic was mostly twenty something girls and twelve year old kids. "We have those kinds of faces. So?"

She gestured where cakes were on display. "Look for the ones that say try me on the labels. There are also labels that say display only. If you're not sure or there isn't a label ask me. Test forks are in the cup to my right."

"Thanks!" Jay grinned at Kai, and ran off to a cake that was obviously chocolate. Kai paused before following, resisting the urge to laugh. "Don't you want a more traditional cake?" He asked.

"No." Jay said, tasting the cake. "This one is  _awesome_." He grinned.

Kai rolled his eyes again, and tried it.

The next hour flew by pretty fast. About fifteen minutes in the old lady was done with her icing, and started asking about what their wedding was going to be like, and gave them advice on the cake. Kai let Jay do most of the talking.

"I didn't bring my sketchpad," Jay was saying and Kai continued trying cakes, "so maybe I can come back another time and show you what we're thinking? I like a lot of the designs, but the one I'm thinking of isn't exactly like any of them. Sorry we probably won't buy today."

"A few bites of cake won't put me out of business." The lady shrugged. "Just make sure to come back."

"No problem." Jay promised. "Wait, Kai, no, not that one!" He yelped.

Kai froze, the fork already halfway to his mouth. Jay walked over with purpose and took his fork. "I already tried that one. It has strawberries- you're allergic."

Kai glanced at the cake and back at Jay, briefly wondering how Jay had remembered something he'd only mentioned two or three times. Jay smiled. "Hey, come on, have you tried the butterscotch cake yet?"

Jay grabbed his hand and pulled him across the store, and that's when Kai noticed a flash in his peripheral vision. He turned around and frowned at the array of cameras and news reporters running up to the doors. His stomach sank sank sank. "Do you have a back door?" He asked the old lady quickly. "Please?"

"Oh, dear. Are you celebrities?" She asked. 

"Yah." Jay laughed nervously. "Let's go before they get here."

"This way." She smiled.

She took them behind the counter and out a back door into an alley. "You can get yourselves gone from here. Have a great day, and come back soon!"

"Thank you!" Jay waved as they ran.

* * *

For some reason Jay thought they'd ran far enough away fast enough, and that the reporters were too far away to get a good picture. 

He was proven very wrong when he looked through the window of a restaurant and saw them at the cake shop plastered all over the news.

He groaned. "Kai, don't look now, but I think they got us."

"There's no way they knew it was just a fake." Kai said quickly under his breath. He paled slightly. "Then that means..."

Jay looked up to see the pictures zoomed in enough to see their blurry rings, along with the headline "When's the Wedding?" Jay put his face in his hands. "God. Why do reporters ruin everything?"

"Let's get going." Kai said. "Before-"

"Kai! Jay!" A man in a business suit started to run up to them, followed by a man carrying a camera. "Would you be willing to give us a few words?"

"Wish we could, but we're late!" Jay yelled, and grabbed Kai's hand, tried not to think about how warm it was, and dragged him towards Chen's Noodle House.

Kai looked back, and laughed loudly before saying, "Left!"

Jay and Kai ran through the streets of Ninjago city, laughing to each other as they avoided the press. Eventually, they burst into Chen's Noodle House. Nya and Skylor were leaning over the counter, talking to each other animatedly. Nya looked at them. "What happened? You look like you've been running."

"We have." Jay panted. "Don't turn on the news. Or, do, I guess."

"What happened?" Skylor asked as she messed with the channels.

Jay looked around, but no one else was in the restaurant. "Kai and I might have pretended to be engaged so we could get free cake samples, and-"

"The press caught you?" Nya asked.

"Yes and no." Kai panted. "Yes, they saw us, no, they don't know it's fake."

"So now all of Ninjago thinks you're engaged." Skylor snorted. "How do you ninja manage to screw up so drastically?"

"I don't think it's because they're ninja, it's because they're boys." Nya smiled sweetly. "Skylor, how long have we been dating?"

"A few weeks."

"And has any of the press caught on?"

"Nope." Skylor said smugly. 

"In our defense, sexism exists and no one pays attention to whatever you guys are doing." Jay said.

"Also, I'm devastatingly handsome and just naturally attract attention." Kai shrugged. 

Nya and Skylor both rolled their eyes. "Let's get back to the Bounty before they find you here." Nya said. "I'll call you, Sky."

"See ya." Skylor waved as they left.

* * *

It was all Jay's fault, really. Kai refused to think about his own part in this whole mess, because it was so much easier to pin it all on Jay. It was his dumb plan, and his dumb idea, and Kai refused to think about the fact that he'd agreed and he'd even enjoyed himself at the beginning. All Jay's fault.

It was also Jay's fault that Lloyd wouldn't stop  _laughing at him_.

"This is no laughing matter!" Kai snapped, and shoved a magazine cover in Lloyd's face. The cover was a picture of Jay and Kai running through the city, holding hands as they tried (and apparently failed) to escape the media. "Everyone thinks I'm in love with Jay!"

"What did you  _think_ would happen if you went on a date with Jay?" Lloyd cackled, clutching his stomach as he laughed. 

"It wasn't a date." Kai insisted. "Because only people who like each other go on dates, and I  _obviously don't like him._ "

"You're still wearing the ring." Lloyd pointed out. Kai groaned and buried his face in his pillow. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my tumblr is witchlightsands join me for ur daily dose of lloyd appreciation


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i listened to almost exclusively rise of the vermillion while writing this its go time

"Jay, you messed up." Cole said.

Jay sighed, and just moved his checker piece. "Listen, in my head it worked out great!"

Cole rolled his eyes. "This isn't your head, so stop day dreaming. If you wanted to go on a date with Kai, why not just, I don't know, flat out  _ask him_?"

"I don't know! I panicked!"

"You proposed marriage!"

"Did not!" Jay countered, kinging one of his pieces. "I proposed  _fake_ marriage."

"Does he know you wanted it to be a date?" Cole asked, quickly jumping three of Jay's pieces. 

Jay groaned. "No. And that wasn't fair, I'm distracted!"

"You're pining, and there are no rules in checkers that say I can't take advantage of my opponent's distraction." Cole grinned. "In all seriousness, you should tell him."

"Are you kidding?" Jay shook his head. "He's gonna be pissed enough at me because of all this. I'm not adding  _feelings_ to this mess."

"Well, you should do something soon. And that probably means coming up with a game plan. Which means being a mature adult and talking to Kai."

Jay sighed as Cole kinged his checker piece. "Fine, whatever. Soon."

"When I win, you have to go talk to him about this." Cole raised an eyebrow.

Jay looked at the board- pretty even -and scoffed. " _When_ you win? Alright, when  _I_ win, you don't get to bug me about this until  _you_ get a boyfriend."

Cole winced. "Ouch, no one wants to date a ghost, Jay, you don't have to rub it in."

"Let's play."

\---

"Why are you still here, Lloyd? Go to your room." Kai crossed his arms.

"You can't boss me around, Kai." Lloyd said, flipping threw his comic book. "I'm the leader."

"You're seventeen. And you've stolen my bed."

Lloyd looked over the pages of his comic and even though he couldn't see his mouth, Kai could  _tell_ he was smirking. "My city now. Besides, it's not like you're using it, you're too busy pacing back and forth and muttering under your breath."

"I'm upset! I'm thinking!"

Lloyd sat up, momentarily putting down his comic book. "Hey, come on. Think of it this way! The entire country thinks you're engaged to your crush!"

Kai dragged a hand down his face. "Why do you say that like it's a good thing?"

"Positive thinking!" Lloyd smiled.

"We left that strategy back on Chen's island where it belonged." Kai said. "I need an actual solution!"

"Communication?"

"What, admit I  _like_ him? With my luck, he's straight. He was crushing  _hard_ on Nya."

"Consider- bisexuality." Lloyd pointed out. "Your bi-fi is  _craaap_ I had to come out to you like three times before you got it."

"Just because he might-  _might_ -be bi doesn't mean he's into me." Kai sighed. "Nope, not telling him, ever."

"What are you going to do about the press? They're going to want to know how you fell in love, where you got engaged, when the wedding is-"

"I need my bed now, for dramatic flopping purposes." Kai proclaimed. 

"No, I'm still reading." Lloyd said. "Fight me."

There was a knock at the door, and Jay poked his head in. "Kai? We need to talk."

Lloyd got off of Kai's bed, dog-earing his comic book. "Okay. I'll go now."

He got out of there quick. Kai resisted the urge to groan.

"What are you doing here?" He asked Jay.

"Cole beat me at checkers." Jay said, and Kai couldn't tell if he was serious or not. "We need to talk about what comes next."

"Like?"

"How we're going to deal with this whole mess." Jay held up his hand to show Kai his ring, which he still had on, and that sent a thrill through Kai's heart, which he quickly told to shut up, hearts don't get thrilled.

"Lloyd was bugging me about that." Kai said. "We can't just say it was fake, that'll undermine our integrity as a team."

"And if we fake-break up, everyone will question our team work, plus we'll still never hear the end of questions." Jay sighed. "But if we go through with it, we'd have to get married?"

"No- we'd just have to make everyone think we got married."

"And then keep up the charade for the rest of our lives. Awesome. Any better ideas?"

Kai sighed. "Let's just take it one day at a time."

"We should go on a date." Jay said, then turned red. Kai blinked at him in shock. "What?"

"Well, if we're just taking it one day at a time for now, everyone thinks we're in love, and people who are in love go on dates." Jay said. "We'd just need a way to avoid the media enough to not have to interact with them, but have them close enough to make it look legit."

"You're terrible. You're just digging yourself a bigger hole." Kai pointed out.  _God, the longer I have to keep this up, the harder it's going to be to give it up._

"I ask again- any better ideas?"

Kai finally admitted, "no."

"Great. I'm thinking roller skating on Saturday, alright, see ya!" Jay left quickly.

With no Jay watching and no annoying green teenagers in his way, Kai dramatically flopped onto his bed with a long sigh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my tumblr is witchlightsands and theres no green/flame allowed on my lawn


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so ive watched season 7 but this is still post season 5 because... season 6.... ruined everything...

Kai awkwardly stood outside the roller skating arena, wondering if it was too late to bale. He pulled his hood up around his head, wondering if anyone recognized him. His ring felt strange. Were rings supposed to feel like that?

His phone started to buzz. He grabbed it. "Jay, I swear to God, where are you?"

"Not Jay." Lloyd's voice said. "Is he late?"

"Extremely." Kai muttered. "Where are you?"

"Um... Jay didn't tell you?"

"Where. Are. You."

"I'm fine! I'm getting flowers."

"Flowers? Lloyd, you killed your cactus, why would you be getting flowers?"

"I'm... picking them out for your wedding."

Kai brought his phone away from his face so as not to teach Lloyd any of the curse words he said. Eventually, he brought the phone back, and asked, "You still there?"

"What were you saying, I couldn't hear you?"

"Why the hell does Jay want you to pick out flowers for a wedding that's  _not happening_." Kai hissed under his breath. 

"So when people ask about how the preparations are going, you have  _something_ to say! Don't ask me, I'm not Jay! I'm just following orders."

"You're the leader."

"Yah, um." Lloyd seemed at a loss for words. Quickly, he said, "Ooh, gotta go, the cashier's cute."

"You're acearo-" Kai started, but Lloyd already hung up on him. Frustrated, Kai threw his phone at the ground.

"Wow, you're lucky Borg got you one that won't break." Jay laughed, running up. He leaned over to catch his breath.

"Where have you been? Why is Lloyd buying flowers?" Kai demanded.

"You talked to him? Should have known, you two are tight." Jay huffed, and straightened up. "Sorry I'm late, had to avoid some press."

"I haven't had any problems."

"Because you're wearing shades and a hoodie. If it wasn't red, I wouldn't have been able to tell it was you." He gave a short laughed and shoved Kai's hood off of his head, along with plucking his sunglasses off of his face. Kai was maybe two or three inches taller than Jay, with a few more if you counted his hair. Jay looked up at him and shot him a smile. "Much better." His voice seemed somewhat shaky.

\---

Jay might-  _might_ -have miscalculated. 

The roller skating arena wasn't too empty or too packed. He knew the pizza was good, the service was good, and he needed a quick and easy way to show everyone yes he and Kai  _were_ in love and they had  _not_ faked their engagement (even though they probably weren't and they totally had).

What Jay had miscalculated was that Kai didn't know how to skate.

"I'm sorry!" He said as Kai crashed into the wall again. "Here, try bending your knees more? Want to take a break?"

Kai's eyes were narrowed, and he was looking at his skates. Jay knew that look. That was his "this is a personal offense to my honor and I will not rest until I have done this" look. He never expected it to be aimed at a pair of  _roller skates_. "No." He said. 

Jay was glad he could skate backwards. That meant he could help Kai more. Kai ran into the wall more often than not, and Jay didn't want to take his eyes off of him.

Kai shuffled forward a few steps, using the wall for support. "I got this." He said.

"Let me help?" Jay offered.

Kai looked up at him, eyes glinting. "Fine. But I  _can_ figure this out."

"I know." Jay replied softly. 

Kai made it a little farther before he started drifting again. When he started drifting, he over compensated, and then he fell. Realizing this, Jay quickly grabbed his hands and led him to the right position.

Kai looked alarmed for a few seconds before his expression lit up and he started grinning, and he laughed.

Jay miscalculated how cute Kai looked. Damn. Oh damn.

He also miscalculated how caught up he'd get in that carefree expression because he crashed into a wall. "Ah!" He yelped, and both he and Kai fell to the ground.

They looked at each other and started laughing. "Come on, let's get pizza." Jay said, helping Kai up as they skated out of the round rink into the eating area. "I'm sorry, I forgot you couldn't skate."

"Dude, you remembered my  _strawberry allergy_." Kai said with a wave of his hand and a small stumble. "If I had to choose between you remembering my complete lack of skating ability or my allergy, I'd choose the one that'd save my life."

Jay ordered their pizza and the two sat down. "Why did you send Lloyd to get flowers?" Kai asked.

Jay rubbed the back of his neck, laughing nervously. "Well, I mean, if we don't at least  _pretend_ to be preparing for a wedding, people are going to get suspicious."

"So you sent... Lloyd?"

"Hey, I mean, he was going to be wandering around anyways. Might as well be doing something productive."

"He hung up on me." Kai added. "Something about the cashier being cute?"

"Hm." Jay said, thinking. "Isn't he bi? Five bucks says the cashier is a girl."

"I'll take that bet." Kai rose an eyebrow. 

They talked for a while, and ate pizza, and skated some more (Kai was getting marginally better at it). Eventually, Jay's phone rang. "Hold on, I have to take this." He said, going to a corner of the place. "Cole? What's up?"

"Have you seen your social media lately?"

"Oh, God, what happened?"

"Your roller skate date got leaked. A few amateur pictures."

"Ah, dangit." Jay muttered. "What are they?"

"I'll hang up and text them to you, but you have to call me back  _right after_ or you will regret it."

Jay agreed and hung up on Cole. A few moments later, he got a message.

There were four pictures.

One was him and Kai on the outside of the skating arena, talking. Kai still had his shades on and hood up.

The next one was Kai running into a wall, with Jay half in the frame laughing.

The next one was when Jay had grabbed his hands to keep him from crashing and Kai had laughed, moments before they fell. Jay stared at the picture. Okay, surely his expression hadn't been  _that_ lovesick. The Jay in the picture was looking at Kai with something like awe, adoration, and, yah, love. At least in the picture, Kai's eyes were closed because he was laughing and his smile was so wide and bright and... Jay miscalculated how completely screwed he was.

The last one was them falling, laying in a tangle against the wall.

Jay gulped and called Cole back. "And these are everywhere pretty much?"

"Yep. You know, if you don't want anyone to know you're in love with him, you should stop looking at him like you're in love."

"Great advice, Cole." Jay groaned. "What am I supposed to do? The longer we keep this up, the harder I'm falling for him."

"Not my problem." Cole said brightly and hung up on Jay. Now Jay realized why Kai had thrown his phone on the ground when Lloyd had hung up on him- being hung up on was infuriating.

\---

"Nya, I just don't know what to do." Kai said, his head in his hands. He and Jay had stayed at the roller skating arena until closing, which was pretty late, and Jay had shown Kai a few of the pictures that had gotten released. Kai's usual confidant for his feelings had been found sleeping on the deck, and Kai wasn't about to wake up Lloyd just to bug him with this. So after carrying Lloyd to his own room instead of letting him sleep on the deck, he had to turn to his  _sister_ , which was  _humiliating_.

"The longer you keep this up, the harder it's going to be for you to let go. You should find a way to end it now, before you break your own heart."

"I can't." Kai said. "I just... I just want to pretend that this is all real. God, I'm such a mess."

Nya put a hand on his shoulder. "At the very least, talk to him about your feelings."

"Why does everyone want me to  _talk_ to him?"

"Communication is key to a healthy relationship."

"But we don't  _have_ a relationship. We have a fake one." Kai groaned and flopped backwards into his bed. "That's the problem, Nya."

"Oh, you're hopeless." Nya rolled her eyes. "I'm here to talk about this whenever you need it, but you seem more in the business of wanting to exchange sarcastic remarks instead of getting actual advice."

"It's what me and Lloyd do." Kai muttered.

 

Nya rolled her eyes again and stood up. "Goodnight, Kai. Love you."

"Love you too." He sighed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in case anyone was confused- lloyd is bi acearo. the way he describes it, he _can_ feel attraction, and to more than one gender, but it's very rare
> 
> my tumblr is witchlightsands and i cant stop listening? to day of the departed? end me?


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just a fluffy filler chap <3

It was three in the afternoon and Kai was by himself, walking through the city looking for Lloyd, who'd disappeared hours ago. His phone was ringing. He picked it up without looking at the caller. "Who is it?"

"It's Lloyd."

"What did he do this time?" Kai asked.

"No, it's me. Lloyd."

"What did you do this time?"

"Nothing!" Lloyd squeaked. "Okay, but, like, I really need your help."

"Where are you?"

"Um..."

"Lloyd Montgomery Garmadon I swear to God if you are behind me-"

"I'm not! I have a bad sense of direction hold on!" There was some muffled talking, and then Lloyd said. "Hey, I can get to the park in five minutes. Meet me by the lake?"

"Lloyd how important is this thing?"

"Very. But I'm not talking about it over the phone, this is a face to face kind of thing, Kai."

Lloyd hung up then, and Kai sighed. 

Kai jogged to the park, getting there in a little more than five minutes. The pond Lloyd wanted to meet him by was more of a puddle this time of year (not that it ever was much bigger than a puddle) and Lloyd was sitting at the picnic benches near by, chewing on the string of his hoodie. Kai sat down in front of him. "What's up?"

"Kai." Lloyd whispered, and shoved a very small piece of paper at Kai's face. Kai blinked at it. "Why are you trying to give me a phone number?"

"I'm not you can't have it." Lloyd stuffed the paper with the phone number in his pocket. "You know how yesterday while you and Jay were off on your skate date, I was getting flowers? I hung up on you?"

"Yah?"

"And you know how I'm acearo and bi?"

"Yah? The way you described it, you said you could feel any kind of attraction and to multiple genders but it was very rarely and..." Kai started to piece it together, and he started grinning. "Oh my God." He said.

Lloyd held up a finger. "You're not allowed to laugh at me."

"Oh my God you want relationship advice." Kai whispered, grinning.

"Stop laughing at me!"

"I'm not!" Kai laughed. "Wait, so you actually thought the cashier was cute?"

" _Yes_." Lloyd said. "Actually, he's kinda hot. Okay, the point is, at first I was just passively commenting but then he tried to help me pick out the flowers and we got to talking and I went back today because I had so much fun I forgot to actually buy something, and we started talking again and he gave me his number?!" Lloyd's face was bright red. "Kai, help."

"Why are you asking me?"

"I need the help of a more experienced bi!"

"Lloyd, just because I'm engaged to Jay doesn't mean I know how I did it!" Kai held up the hand with the ring for emphasis.

"I can't do this." Lloyd muttered. "I am going to screw up and he is going to hate me."

"Wait, he? The cashier's a guy? Ha! Jay owes me five bucks."

"That's it." Lloyd's eyes lit up as he smiled at Kai.

"Whatever you're thinking the answer is no."

"Kai please."

"I know where this is going and I say no."

"Can I at least speak?" Lloyd asked. Kai sighed. Lloyd must have taken that as permission to continue, because he started, "So, Micah mentioned he was free on Friday night, and if you give me the courage to ask him out like I think he was implying I should, will you join me for moral support?"

"Lloyd."

"Listen, please-"

"It'll just be awkward if I tag along as a third wheel on a date between two teenagers."

"Then bring Jay!" Lloyd huffed. "It can be a double date. Kai, I'm begging here. I'll pay you ten dollars."

"I'll ask Jay." Kai said. "So no promises. But if he says yes, I guess we can come for moral support. You useless baby bi."

"You're the best." Lloyd said, relaxing and leaning back, and promptly falling off the bench.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my tumblr is witchlightsands and im very firmly on Team Give Lloyd Garmadon A Cute Bf


	5. Chapter 5

Kai adjusted the collar of his jacket. Of _course_ Jay had chosen the most expensive restaurant he could find, with a black tie dress code. Kai had sighed that they were pretty much just chaperoning two teenagers on a date, why not just take them to McDonald's or something, but Jay had insisted. Kai was completely out of his element.

(At the very least, the restaurant didn't allow cameras or paparazzi.)

Plus, Jay was late. And Kai had no idea what to do. Jay had set up a reservation, or whatever, but Kai had exactly zero idea what to do in general.

Eventually, Kai saw an electric blue dragon swoop towards him, and Jay jumped down, dressed in an equally fancy suit. He straightened his tie. "Hey, Kai."

"I hate you, by the way." Kai said. "This is a terrible idea. Possibly a worse idea than the roller skating. I still think we should just get take out and watch a movie. Lloyd's probably as uncomfortable as I am!"

"No, I talked with him. Aside from a broken spinner ring and a slightly chewed sleeve, he's fine."

"A broken spinner ring?" Kai raised an eyebrow.

"He was messing with it, sparked his powers and accidentally melded the two pieces together." Jay shrugged. "I gave him one of mine. Kai, find a chill. Just take a minute to enjoy the finer things in life."

"Ever since you found out you were actually the son of a movie star, you've been insufferable about the finer things in life."

Jay shrugged. "I'm paying for this whole thing, by the way, so, I mean."

"I'm buying the most expensive meal I can get out of  _spite_." Kai promised him.

\---

Kai didn't know why he'd been worried. For some reason he thought he'd actually have to  _talk_ to Lloyd's date. But he and Flower Boy (Micah, Kai remembered) were mostly just talking animatedly to each other, smiling and laughing. 

Kai didn't order the  _most_ expensive thing, because he balked at the price (who paid fifty dollars for a  _duck_?), but he managed to enjoy himself. A little bit. Not that he would tell Jay. Ever. Why had he even said yes to this?

It hit Kai that, on a technicality, this was his and Jay's second date, and everyone thought they were engaged, and Kai wasn't even sure Jay liked him back. This was a mess.

Why couldn't they just be like Lloyd and Micah, honestly on a date, a little over their heads in an environment they'd never even dream of on their own, but having a good time?

_Because, Kai, you won't just TELL HIM HOW YOU FEEL._

Nah, this whole thing was awkward enough without Kai throwing  _feelings_ into the mix.

\---

Jay wondered how long it would take Kai to get the hint. 

The cake thing, the skating thing, now  _this_. Jay almost wanted to grab him by the tie and scream  _I love you!_ But that would have disturbed the atmosphere.

If Jay had just been honest from the start, this wouldn't be happening. Maybe Kai would have just flat out rejected him, but it would have been better than this  _confusion_.

This was so awkward.

At the very least, at least it looked like Lloyd hadn't tripped on his face and embarrassed himself like he'd been worried about.

Jay paid for the food, since he had his birth father's inheritance, and his memory was a fuzz between then and  _now_ , now being him and Kai standing alone outside the restaurant. Kai had discarded the fancy jacket and tie, leaving him in a rumpled dress shirt. 

"Hey..." Kai started, and his mouth moved but no words came out. Jay tilted his head at him. "What?"

Kai seemed like he made up his mind about something, and kissed Jay's cheek. Which left Jay a spluttering, red-faced mess, and Kai just muttered, "night," and left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my tumblr is witchlightsands and i think i should be in charge of ninjago now


	6. Chapter 6

"I think I screwed up." Kai banged his head against the table.

"Goddammit, Kai." Skylor sighed. "You can't just walk into my restaurant, declare you screwed up, and start banging your head against the table in the middle of the night, even if I am dating your sister. What did you do?"

"I might have tried to confess to Jay, couldn't get the words out, then, uh, kissed his cheek and bolted?" Kai mumbled.

"Goddammit Kai."

"I didn't know what else to do! I panicked!" Kai started hitting his head against the table again. "I've ruined our friendship."

"Do you want some noodles?" Skylor offered, trying to sound sarcastic and patronizing, but apparently Kai didn't catch that tone because he nodded. Skylor sighed and went to grab some noodles from the back.

\---

"Do you think it was a friend thing?" Jay asked, looking at the ceiling. "I mean, I could totally be reading into the whole kiss thing too much. It could totally be a friend thing."

"Jay, I highly doubt Kai  _kissing you_ was a friend thing." Cole sighed. 

"No, listen-" Jay said, sitting up. "It was just on the cheek. It could totally be completely platonic."

"NOTHING ABOUT THIS SAYS PLATONIC."

"I'm just projecting my own feelings onto this." Jay insisted. "Besides, if Kai liked me, he would have said something."

"Nothing I say is going to make you see sense?"

"Nothing you're saying _makes_ sense." Jay said. Cole huffed and crossed his arms. "Obviously, completely platonic."

\---

"You can't drown all your sorrows in noodles, Kai."

"I'll pay double."

"More sorrow noodles, coming right up."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and while all this drama is going down lloyd is just laughing in the corner with a box of candy and texting his bf
> 
> my tumblr is witchlightsands BUT im not going to be active there for an undetermined length of time- ive been grounded from all devices. im using my school computer to write, but i will loose it too on june first when i no longer need it for schoolwork. whoops


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *dabs* eight chapter fic might be the shortest multichap ever but i love these nerds thank u

Three days.

Three days since the totally platonic kiss.

Jay wanted to spontaneously combust.

He'd made up his mind- he was going to tell Kai that the whole "pretend to be married to me so we can get free cake" was supposed to have been a date. Consequences be damned. 

He sent Kai a quick text- _where are you?_

The answer came back quick. 

**_getting pizza w/ nya. care to join?_ **

_sure_

Jay breathed out. He could totally do this.

\---

Kai might have smudged the truth a little bit.

Yes, he  _had_ been getting pizza with Nya, but she'd left five minutes ago. In those five minutes, Kai had been wondering how to casually ask Jay to the pizza place, when Jay made his life ten times easier. 

The bell above the door rang, and Kai saw Jay walk in. "Hey, where's Nya?" He asked.

"Sorry, just missed her. Skylor called." Technically true. "Jay, I really need to tell you something."

"I need to tell you something too." Jay blinked. "On three?"

Kai nodded, stomach churning. "One."

"Two."

"Three. Jay, I'm in love with you." Kai waved his hands around as he started babbling. "I think I have been for years, but I didn't realize until recently. Because it just became such an innate part of me. I never said anything because I never thought anything would come of it." In that moment, Kai realized Jay hadn't blurted out what he had wanted to say on three. Kai had just poured out his entire soul and Jay hadn't even abided by the on three rules.

Jay was staring at him.

Kai gulped. _There's a reason Lloyd calls me impulsive, I guess._  "So, yah. And I never actually thought I'd say this, but I need to ask. Just to know. And because everyone thinks we're engaged anyways." 

Kai dropped to one knee. "Marry me, Jay Walker. God, I mean, I always thought that the phrase 'light of my life' only existed in fairy tales. Then I guess this is a fairy tale, because wow, you are the light of my life. I love you. And this whole thing? Has been a  _mess_. But I wouldn't have traded it for anything. I've tried so many times to get the words out. But I couldn't, and I'm trying now and that seems to be going alright. I don't have a ring, because you technically already gave me yours. God, this is going to be embarrassing if you're straight, but I need to know. Will you marry me, Jay Walker?"

Jay's hand was covering his mouth. It took Kai five heartbeats to realize he was crying.

Kai panicked. "Did I say something wrong?"

"Yes." Jay whispered.

Kai panicked even more. "Oh, crap, man, Jay I-"

"No! No, I mean, you didn't say anything wrong! That was beautiful. I mean  _yes_. I'll marry you, you big dummy." Jay laughed and wiped away the tears in his eyes. "And to think, I just wanted to tell you the asking you to be fake engaged to me was my idea of a date."

"It was a  __WHAT."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my tumblr is witchlightsands and im supposed to be multifandom but im dissolving into a lloyd blog


	8. Chapter 8

Two words really did change lives. 

"I do."

When Jay kissed him then, Kai could have died and come back to life on the sheer force of happiness. 

Lloyd and Cole were awful best men. They kept making fun of the newly weds for how oblivious they were, and how long it took them to get together. 

"He proposed marriage, and Kai kept ranting to me about how Jay didn't actually like him," Lloyd laughed. 

"Alright, enough of you." Kai ruffled up his hair. "Go find your boyfriend."

"I'm the reason they're together," Cole half cried during his speech. "They had to talk to each other because Jay lost a game of checkers."

Nya came up to them and said very politely, "if he ever breaks your heart, let me know and I will murder him."

"Nya, that's not necessary-" Kai started, but she shushed him. "I wasn't talking to you."

Jay never let go of Kai's hand. It was slightly inconvenient, he would admit. 

Kai was never letting go either. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> eeeey this thing is finally done go me. 
> 
> hope you guys liked it, my tumblr is witchlightsands and im p much always up to chat bout plasma


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